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Sunday, February 13th, 2005
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 | You scored as Ruby. Ruby, resembling love, wealth, wisdom and purity. Ruby-types tend to think with their heart and not their heads, sometimes resulting in wild desicions, but constantly following love and romance. Ruby-types also tend to have a fair judgement and sweet and good feelings for many things.
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Ruby | | 90% | Aquamarine | | 87% | Peridot | | 87% | Garnet | | 83% | Topaz | | 80% | Celestite | | 70% | Emerald | | 70% | Athemyst | | 63% | </td>
Which Mystic Gem Stone Relates To You?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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Friday, December 31st, 2004
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I’m not sure how I feel about New Year’s Resolutions. At the end of the year, there’s always that sense of renewal, rebirth and guilty awareness. It’s the perfect time to reflect on the changes we want or often need, if we’re to have the motivation to move forward in our lives. However, the one thing about New Year’s Resolutions that I’ve grown to dislike (in recent years) is that they always make you feel lousy about yourself. What’s more discouraging than reviewing the past year of your life to figure out your weaknesses and mistakes, and then half-heartedly pledge once again to lead a more virtuous life? Self-awareness and self-improvement are important, but both are part of an even greater process for the ever-growing soul. I will not resort to compiling a list of those cliché New Years Resolutions, because I see no point in making resolutions or promises that I cannot keep. Call it pessimism, but please avoid mistaking this attitude for a lack of introspection or will-power on my part. I already know that my will is strong and there is no need for it to be tested. Perhaps I’ve grown tired of the whole idea of New Year’s Resolutions. For once, I would like to meet someone who’s New Year’s Resolutions start-off like this: "What’s not to love? I’m perfectly happy with myself and damn, it’s been another impressive year."
This past year began with a string of high expectations and promises. Maybe I didn’t get what I wanted, but I didn’t want what I probably needed. I got thrown for quite a few loops and ended up somewhere I never thought I’d be. Even though it’s not at all what I expected, I’m pleasantly surprised. For me, the end of 2004 marks a definitive ending -- a true conclusion of sorts. And for once, starting a brand new year means something significant. It’s more than another page falling off the calendar, a sign of the everyday. It’s more than an effort to articulate difference through counting. I want to stop counting. I want to stop reducing the "difference" to similarities. Similarities that will only be lost track of somewhere down the line. I’m looking forward to this new beginning with optimism, only slightly tinged with mild trepidations. With less than 24-hours left of 2004, I will begin the upcoming year by focusing on the positive -- the small victories and the fun-stuff. I find inspiration in many people, places and things -- and I will continue to do so. I’m over the questioning and I’m certainly over the negativity. Finally, I feel connected. And I love the way it feels when I feel connected, a sense of belonging. It’s all I really want out of life -- to be able to live in a beautiful place, sharing my passion for life with others, feeling useful and loved, creatively satisfied and at peace.
REMEMBER: In the end, it is the person you become, not the things you have achieved, that is the most important.
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Thursday, October 7th, 2004
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My journal has lost its momentum, but I’m trying to find it again. Recent events have made me take stock in my past and present projects, and I realized how much I miss capturing moments, spying on people, divulging crushes and sharing way too much about my days.
There will be more stories soon.
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Contrary to popular belief...
Yes, I'm alive. Stay tuned for a lengthy update with all of the juicy details.
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If you need a good laugh, click here.
Unfortunately, this works best with high-speed internet connections.
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I finally purchased my own digital camera...
Sony Cyber-Shot DSC-P72
1/1.8" 3.2 Mega-Pixel CCD Imager
3X-Optical Zoom, 6-18mm + Smart Zoom
Still Image -- 2048x1536, 1632x1224 or 640x480
MPEG Movie-VX (640x480) with Audio
Scene Selection -- Twilight, Twilight Portrait, Landscape, Snow and Beach
Focusing System with 3-Area Multipoint AF
Noise Reduction -- automatic at 1/2-second or longer shutter speeds
14-bit A/D Conversion
Adjustable Flash with Red-Eye Reduction
1.5" TFT Color LCD-Screen with Auto Brightness
Memory Stick Compatible (16MB-included) -- purchased an additional 128MB Memory Stick
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Yes, the day finally came.
I’m the proud owner of my very own Playstation-2. Yesterday, I went to EB-Games to buy the system, a cheap dance-pad and DDR-Max2. Now it’s time to get my groove on -- yeah, baby!
WISH LIST:
Original Dance-Dance-Revolution (PS-1)
DDR-Konamix (PS-1)
RedOctane Ignition Pad 2.0
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Believe it or not, my spring cleaning endeavor turned out to be a huge success.
I’m conscientious without being too rigid. I keep my living space neater than not, which leaves me an adequate amount of room to spread out my work. According to Feng Shui, leaving free space allows room for new opportunities and growth. All the possessions we accumulate have an effect on our emotions, making it difficult to move on and face new challenges with confidence. Most of us don't even realize how much junk we have until we actually look for it. Unfortunately, there will always be clutter hidden away in drawers and closets -- as human beings have this awful tendency to hoard. But one day, my entire house will be free of clutter. Tackling everything at once is asking for trouble, so taking baby-steps is crucial. Setting small goals and changing daily habits will relieve huge amounts of built-up tension. I’m good at getting things sorted out and taken care of.
On another positive note, City College of San Francisco (CCSF) finally processed my paperwork and it only took them 5-months. [*urgh* MORONS.]
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Thursday, March 4th, 2004
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I sent my cover letter and resume in response to fourteen (14) more job-postings. Tonight, I’m planning to work on four additional submissions that I will be taking to the Post Office for delivery tomorrow morning:
Administrative Assistant (San Francisco Public Defender’s Office)
Legislative Assistant (City and County of San Francisco, Board of Supervisors)
Paralegal (ACLU Immigrants Rights Project)
Project Assistant (Center for Tobacco Control Research and Education)
"Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard. I'm going back to the start..." [Coldplay - "The Scientist"]
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</a></b></a>![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) deamonllama is moving back to San Francisco in May.
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Sunday, February 29th, 2004
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A fair exterior is a silent recommendation. I’m neat as a pin, but my family enjoys living in a state of pure sloth. My daily life is full of tension and minor frustrations caused by too much clutter. Perhaps this sounds a little obsessive-compulsive, but too much clutter stops the natural flow of energy. When my physical environment gets over-crowded, so does my mind. Our house has become the repository for everyone’s junk, when most of this excess crap could be thrown away. Nagging everyone to clean-up their mess never works; in the end it’s only counterproductive. It’s time to take matters into my own hands:
SUNDAY: Garbage and Recycling
MONDAY: Bedrooms
TUESDAY: Laundry and Kitchen (Surfaces, Sweep/Wax Floor, Clean Stove)
WEDNESDAY: Bathrooms (Surfaces, Closets, Drawers)
THURSDAY: Living Room and Dining Room, Dusting, Vacuuming
I’m not touching the basement or the garage with a 10-foot pole. After surveying the house, I came to the conclusion that a week-long clean-up is a little too optimistic -- considering the fact that I’m going solo on this project. It seems like an overwhelming task, but it only gets worse before it gets better. All I want is for the house to look presentable for company. I need to stay motivated and approach this in a systematic manner.
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Friday, February 27th, 2004
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I just sent my cover letter and resume in response to four (4) more job-postings. My goal is to send my cover letter and resume to at least one prospective employer every single day until I secure employment. Naturally, this excludes weekends.
I’m not taking this job-hunt lightly.
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Thursday, February 26th, 2004
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I sent my cover letter and resume in response to sixteen (16) job-postings, which were primarily office administration positions with various law firms. Now, I’m currently working on four additional application packets that I will be submitting this evening:
Assistant Manager of Visitor Services (Asian Art Museum)
Community Relations Manager (Seneca Center)
Program Assistant (National Healthcare Resource Center on Domestic Violence)
Program Assistant (The Ryan Training Center)
Nothing too impressive, but it’s a solid start.
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
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Let me begin by stating, "No, I’m not Catholic."
Regardless of your personal religious convictions, the philosophy behind Lent is undeniably powerful -- going hand-in-hand with the belief that the more you own, the more owns you. Last year, Christine tried to explain the purpose and benefits of Lent to me. While I do understand the basics according to the Catholic faith, perhaps the most interesting comment Christine made was: "The whole idea is to give something up in order to improve your life. Think of it as an attempt to phase something out. Eventually, you learn to live without it." The overriding goal is much more than simply abstaining from something throughout the duration of Lent, but also includes rooting that "something" out of your life forever. This is the true act of conversion -- leaving behind an old way of living/acting in order to embrace a new life. I rather like the total self-disciplinary component of the endeavor. It’s all about personal evaluation and self-improvement, something each one of us should constantly strive to be engaged in.
During Lent 2003, I converted to vegetarianism and maintained the new lifestyle for over 7-months. However, the switch to the vegetarian lifestyle in addition to a low-carbohydrate diet left me feeling completely malnourished. First and foremost, I’m not the biggest fan of meat to begin with. Those of you who know me understand why. My only real sacrifice was seafood and the very little white meat that I actually do eat. I’m no longer a full-fledged vegetarian, but I rarely eat meat. I am happy to report that I have successfully maintained my new eating habits -- low-fat, low-sugar, no fast-food, no junk food, no carbonated beverages, avoidance of alcohol, avoidance of snacking and drinking lots of water everyday. And I refuse to jump on the "no-carb" bandwagon, which is quite ridiculous. I’ve been working out on a daily basis -- running 2-4 times a week, resistance training (in-circuit) every other day, yoga and the occasional pliates, rope-jumping and stair-climbing. Undeniably, my body feels stronger. But I have to admit, I’m feeling rather discouraged by the numbers on the scale and my clothing tags. I'm okay with the way that I look, but I know I can be healthier as well. And I'm not anticipating immediate results either. In the long run, these small improvements will definitely add to an overall improved physical and mental well-being.
This year, I’m giving up two things for Lent: (1) sex and (2) bagels.
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Saturday, February 21st, 2004
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Not to offend any members of the cult-following, but I’m getting pretty sick and tired of William Hung.
What better way to reinforce the stereotype of the timid, inarticulate Asian-American? Yes, let’s crowd around our televisions and computers to laugh at his accent, buck-teeth, nerdy attire and complete inability to dance. I’m not sure how this is humanly possible, but I’m more offended by the exploitation of William Hung than I am about the four drunken fools who called me a "chinky bitch" on BART last night.
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Wednesday, February 18th, 2004
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Tonight, I am removing my 2ga-plugs; saying good-bye to my beautiful stretched earlobes.
I’m not sure what influenced me to get my earlobes stretched in the first place. Once I started, it became hard to stop. No matter what anyone says, stretching your earlobes is quite addictive. I went to get my earlobes stretched for the first time on November 2, 2002 -- the afternoon before Popsicle 4 @ Bill Graham. During my first sitting, I went from a normal piercing to 14ga. It was an exhilarating experience, unlike your average piercing. For me it was a slow process, taking nearly 6-months to complete my project. I went from 14g to 12ga, 12ga to 10ga, 10ga to 8ga, 8ga to 6ga, 6ga to 4ga and 4ga to 2ga, with 3-week rest periods between each stretching. Looking back, my experience with stretching was quite positive. From the beginning, I planned to stop at 2ga or 0ga -- which would give me the option of letting my earlobes shrink back to normal later on. I’ve grown accustomed to wearing 2ga stainless-steel, flared-eyelet tunnels -- sometimes with hoops through the empty hollows. But, it’s time for a change. I miss wearing normal ear-adornments and shopping for matching accessories. I miss the delicate femininity of wearing "girly" jewelry.
Let’s hope this slip back into normalcy is a quick one.
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
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If one wants to climb a mountain, it helps to remember that momentum is a bitch to overcome -- you need to fuel the climb with a little inertia. I need to face my fears; I refuse to let my anxiety take over my life and control me again.
Pointless conversations are starting to cause me undue amounts of anguish. What’s even more frustrating is the fact that they’re all-too familiar. It’s funny -- you try to explain things to people and they’re completely oblivious, but while you may understand why this is happening, it doesn’t make the frustration and their complete lack of logic fade away any faster. Perhaps this is coming from residual insecurities, but I always get the sinking feeling that no one around me wants to hear about my issues. I always hoped that one day this feeling would go away.
And it has, all thanks to him.
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Sunday, February 8th, 2004
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Slow progress, but progress nonetheless. I’m almost there, but I need to stay focused.
History of Art 145 Research Project
History of Art 145 Final Exam
History of Art 131A Final Exam
Internship, East Asian Archaeology Laboratory
I can do this, I can do this.
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I would love to post something stimulating right now, but I feel incapable of putting together anything lucid.
Maybe I’m too giddy. Maybe I’m too happy. Maybe I’m a little bit tired.
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Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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It seems that I alternate days between feeling better about my life and feeling like my life bites some serious ass. But, at least I don’t feel as helpless as I did before. No matter what, Bill is always there for me with his love, encouragement, support and inspiration -- all that’s ever needed to soothe my frayed nerves. And while we are constantly discovering new things about each other every single day, the other things we have already discovered have brought us even closer. I’m thankful for every single moment shared. He has made me so incredibly happy, the happiest I have ever been.
DECLARATION:
I have bigger goals, but I’m not letting them scare me. I trust that everything I have learned and accomplished is a step forward, even if I don’t know where this path may lead. Best of all, I’m enjoying the ride.
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amused.
busy.
excited.
determined.
contemplative.
annoyed.
relieved.
sleepy.